(Guys, you probably don’t want to read this. It is all about girly stuff.)
I have been feeling rather miserable the last few days. I know why, it is because I haven’t been sleeping well. And I know why I haven’t been sleeping well: MENOPAUSE. After trolling the internet I learned there really isn’t anything I can do about it. So I am just trying to roll along, take things one day or 5 minutes at a time, whatever it takes.
It is worrisome though when you don’t even want to lie on the couch and eat brownies and watch television all day. What is lower than that? (I guess not getting out of bed at all.) Supposedly I am to try and take care of myself first. Okay. So here is what I am doing:
1. I dug out my pedometer, bought a new battery for it and started wearing it. Exercise may help with the sleep issues but who wants to exercise when they are exhausted? Not me. But walking is okay so I am focusing on those 10k steps. I walk the dog, walk my son home from school and now walk on the treadmill while using the computer. I was doing all these anyway but hopefully if I know I walked 10k steps that will help my brain lure my body into sleep.
2. Attitude is everything. I sort of hate that rah-rah kind of stuff but if it helps I guess I can be okay with it. I knew these days were coming. When I first had my thyroid problems I thought it was menopause. Approaching the big 5-0, having a period last 17 days and being awakened multiple times during the night by hot flashes (aka night sweats), followed by waking up because I am cold since I kicked all the covers off leads me to believe this is the real thing this time. How long can it last? One to five years? Oh. At least there is a deadline. And really is there anything that I am doing right now that can’t be put off one to five years?
3. I can be glad I am not a rocket scientist. With the fatigue and brain fog I can only imagine making some miscalculation that throws off weeks or months of work. I only have to worry about things like not checking pockets before throwing the clothes in the washer or not having the least bit of interest in making a healthy dinner and calling the husband to bring home takeout. (Actually the family is pretty happy when that happens.)
4. Since I am home alone all day I can cry whenever I want without having anyone look at me in horror. Like while watching “Downton Abbey”, during old movies that are actually comedies, reading half the posts on FB, or while listening to a Nicholas Sparks novel. Hormones can react to any emotion.
5. The realization that even though it very much feels like it, my head won’t actually explode if I have to do one more load of laundry. I am not a cartoon character. Of course if I was a cartoon character I wouldn’t be going through the hell of menopause, but then again my head might really explode.
6. I think every woman actually survives menopause, some spouses might not but that is not my problem. And every woman gets her own unique set of symptoms and severity. I can be unique. I can survive. So here is to another year of being driven crazy by hormones. Sigh. So yeah, maybe I am crying just a little right now.