Two Months In

Honestly I am not sure where to start. At the end of January things were not going well, and not for lack of effort. I had to go to the doctor anyway (to renew my thyroid medication) so I talked about all my peri-menopausal symptoms and said (out loud) “I am ready for some drugs”. I was thinking hormone therapy, progesterone specifically, but my primary care doctor is against it. She recommended a mild-antidepressant shown to work on hot flashes and mood swings.

The idea of an anti-depressant left me, well, depressed. I have been thinking I just needed something to help until I get into full blown menopause. I know anti-depressants have been used in my circumstances but I was feeling pretty uneasy about this. And since I was overdue for my pap smear anyway I got a current referral for the GYN I used for my IUD and made an appointment. (For any male readers I know you have no idea what I just said, that is okay, just keep reading.) I was curious to see what she had to say because frankly she seems to have a completely different take on menopause than my primary care doc.

Unfortunately I couldn’t get a GYN appointment before the first week of March. In the meantime the antidepressants arrived in the mail and after doing a bit more research I decided to start taking them. The plan was to see how they made me feel and still get a second opinion from the GYN.

I took the pills for four days and thought I caught a stomach bug. I was nauseous and exhausted. I slept two hours Friday afternoon, eleven hours Friday night, another two hours Saturday afternoon. I wasn’t eating much, mostly crackers and ginger ale and when I did eat a scrambled egg and a piece of toast I felt sick again. I checked the side effects on the pills and stopped taking them.

Three days later I felt better physically but was still feeling quite unmotivated concerning life in general. Mid-February I got my period, another bad one. Crampy and heavy and not helpful in getting anything done. But it only lasted seven days which was nice for a change.

And then I had a good week where at least I was sleeping well and getting something of one sort or another done everyday. I loved the snow and was happy to get out in it. Focus was still a problem though.

And here it is the end of February and I feel like a yo-yo. The last few nights have been broken sleep but yesterday I got a nice amount of pesky tasks done and that made me feel good. And today I feel….okay? But sort of ready for a nap. And my breasts hurt.

One more week until my doctor’s appointment. Every few days I find myself googling “what symptoms progesterone relieves” and every time I find myself nodding my head and reminding myself to ask for the bio-identicals. My thought is if it is something my body used to produce then there shouldn’t be any yucky side effects. And I don’t care if that thinking is wrong, I am going with it. Do not even think about trying to set me straight!

Why yes I am feeling a little prickly these days.

So now you get to wait along with me to see what happens next in the journey to menopause saga. I am pretty sure we are due for a happy upturn in the plot. Stay tuned.

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