May Madness: Mothering

My post is late today because I spent the whole day being an involved parent. I am exhausted. Not even through the first full week of summer vacation and I am ready to chuck the computer out the door.

Yesterday my son spent 6 hours, NON-STOP on the computer. (I was testing for any glimpse of sensible self-regulating.) He didn’t even get a drink of water. And then I had to badger him to get off. So no computer time today. And so I have been busy keeping him busy. Some errands, lunch out and I whooped him in skee ball! Tonight he will be making grilled cheeses for dinner for him and his father.

I am currently reading “How to be a Happier Parent” by KJ Dell’Antonia and I am getting a lot out of it. I am realizing my son is a much more capable person than I give him credit for. It is time for me to adjust my expectations and give myself the badly needed break I need. I need to let go. I need to accept good enough when he does an assigned task.

I have been gradually making changes and setting expectations since school got out. We have set up our shared calendar and reminder list. We have set up a few tasks for him. He is going to meditate every morning. (Insight App has meditations just for kids!) We have spent a few minutes each day trying to reduce his room to disaster level DefCon 3.

He is going to do his own laundry every Monday from now on. (I thought it best to pick a day to help him remember and so I know not to plan on doing laundry that day. I let him pick the day. Since we discussed this on Tuesday he picked Monday to put it off as long as possible. Little does he realize he probably has three full loads to do already.)

We discussed his summer math work and he set himself up with a schedule and we designated one end of the dining room table as the math spot. We put the packet of work, his math notebook full of notes, a sharpened pencil and a big pink eraser there. No excuses or delays hunting for items!

Tomorrow I am dropping ‘chore of the month’ on him. Actually ‘life skill of the month’. For 30 days I will have to listen to him seriously complain about doing the dishes every night. I will have to remind him probably every single day to do the chore. I will have to stand firm with myself and not swoop in to do things right (ie my way). But by golly at the end of the 30 days he will have it down! And then he can move on to something new and create a whole new list of complaints.

Til tomorrow…

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