A Conversation with Myself

Time to empty out my head so I (MC) will be interviewing myself (ME) about my recent dating app experiences.  Is it wrong to meet and tell?  Maybe, but I won’t use any names.

MC:  So how does this online dating app experience feel over all?

ME:  Kind of disappointing and certainly stressful.  I felt like I swiped right a fair amount but got very few matches.

MC: Why do you think that is?

ME:  Cause I am middle-aged?

MC:  Right, well let’s talk about the people you did match with.  How many have you actually gotten to know a bit thru texting?

ME:  Four so far.  

MC:  Only four?  That’s not much of a sample size.

ME: There were a few more matches, two didn’t respond at all and two more I have only exchanged a few lines with. One disappointment was B.  He is the one I texted during the night when we both had insomnia and then he deleted his account.  😞 He showed up again so I swiped right and saw that he had already matched with me.  I was kinda excited and sent him a text asking if we had talked before…and he never responded. 

MC: That is rather disappointing.  But what about the other four.  Let’s start with the first guy.

ME:  We texted quite a bit and then talked on the phone a few times but didn’t meet.

MC: What happened?

ME: Had rather a lot of drama in his life.  Last girlfriend called the cops on him and he seemed to spend a lot of time at his ex-wife’s place who he “Still loved with all his heart”.

MC: Sounds like a good call to move on.  Okay, how about number 2.

ME:  He was a really bad texter, I actually thought he was drunk our first exchange which I ended after just a few texts.  Then two days later I asked him how drunk he was that night and he said he didn’t drink.  He was just a really bad texter which never changed. Incomplete sentences, tons of typos, very short answers. Turns out he was really shy.

MC: Did you meet him in person? 

ME: I did. Probably not the best choice for a first meet since we were both really nervous.  I tried to make him feel at ease but it just wasn’t happening.

MC: So how did things end?

ME: Badly. He sent me a text asking if he could see me again and I had to say I didn’t think I was a good fit for him.  I felt terrible because I can only imagine how hard it was for him to meet me. His only reply was “ok” and then he unmatched me.

MC: That sounds rough. Let’s move onto number three.

ME:  We seemed to have a lot in common but we also have a lot of differences. I didn’t always get his sense of humor. We did talk on the phone and then agreed to meet.

MC: How did that go?

ME: While I had been hopeful there really wasn’t any chemistry between us.  And our differences seemed magnified in person.

MC: That’s too bad. No hope at all there?

ME: I don’t think so.  He was really COVID sensitive but at the same time he was straight up about how he didn’t need another “friend” (translation he just wanted to have sex) and then asked questions like “When did you end your work with the Census?  and When was the last time you kissed someone?”  Obviously worried about being “contaminated” and concerned over my lack of concern.

MC: So how did it end?

ME:  We said good-bye and haven’t contacted each other since.

MC: Hmm.  Do you expect to hear from him again?

ME: Kind of hope so because I loaned him a movie.

MC: Do you really think you are going to get that movie back?

ME: No. 

MC: So, we are down to one final candidate. Tell me about number four.

ME: Well, he is the one I feel the most connected with, at least via text. He wanted to meet last weekend but I chickened out.

MC:  Chickened out?

ME: I hadn’t met anybody in person yet and I wasn’t sure I was ready.

MC: Are you ready now?

ME: I think so.  We have had some fun exchanges, no serious conversations though. I am not sure I am ready for another in person non-connection. I am really enjoying talking to him and would hate to lose that already.

MC: So what are you going to do?  

ME: Maybe talk to him tonight, get a feel for what he thinks and I am curious as to how this dating app stuff has been working for him.  And maybe set up a meeting?

MC: That’s a lot of maybes. 

ME: Well he might not be available to talk tonight.

MC: That’s true. But let’s face it, at some point you are going to need to gather your courage and move the potential relationship along. He has already said he would like to meet you in person.  The ball is in your court.

ME: I know, I know.

MC: So I guess that is everything. Any final words?

ME: I really miss all the chemistry I had with M* and how easy it all was. 

MC:  Too bad it was all lies and he bruised your heart.

ME: I know, I know.

No water at all going over the dam. 😦 Just as dry as me attempting a dating life.

This was a fun format to write. Please tell me it was more funny then pathetic. I know, I know…..

4 thoughts on “A Conversation with Myself

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