Ah, Phooey Day

Phooey: a word used to express disgust or disdain 

I suppose you could just say the word Phooey about something today but I am going a step farther. I am doing a phooey on wearing a bra today. Because I can. A less lazy person would go buy a bigger bra or two for those menopausal days when one’s breasts balloon up but I am secretly afraid a larger bra would just encourage more painful swelling.

Wearing a bra somedays has become torturous for me.  Today I say “Phooey on bras!” Lest you think I am being all risqué or sleazy the reality is I am wearing a loose fitting opaque t-shirt (and stretchy, comfy shorts) with no plans to leave the house after I walk the dog. So I am the only one impacted by my bralessness. And the impact on myself is a good thing.  A splendiferous thing if you will.  Comfortable. Sort of like staying in your pj’s all day without the guilt.

Embrace your phooey today!

Random flower photo because it is my blog and I can randomly add a flower photo if I want to. 

Observe Your Neighborhood Day

I love this idea! No helicopter parenting for me, I can be Drone Mom!

Years ago I took a terrorism awareness course for the military. One of the key points that really stuck with me was that you needed to know how things normally look in order to tell if something is wrong.

I walk my dog every morning around my neighborhood and frequently one of the adjoining neighborhoods as well. (We live on a loop about 1/2 mile around so my definition of my neighborhood is easily defined for me.) Over the years I have picked up a lot of details without  consciously trying.  I know which houses are rentals, which ones are currently empty and which have part-time snowbirds living in them.  I am familiar with vehicles and where they are normally parked. I know a lot about the people that live near me, even if I don’t know their names.  I know nationalities, if they work at home, kids and the schools they go to. In a nutshell I know who belongs in my neighborhood and can tell if something looks different or out of place.

I am not particularly worried about a terrorist event in my neighborhood but I would like to think if someone started up a meth lab or was dealing drugs that I would notice. (Though hopefully those won’t happen either!) But with a nine year old freely roaming the neighborhood I want to be aware of his surroundings.

When I was a kid we knew all our neighbors and they knew us. Of course our neighbors didn’t change very often which helped. We knew that if we did something wrong or stupid or unsafe someone would yell at us or tell our parents.  Times are different now but knowing a little bit about the people in your neighborhood is not a bad thing.

Take a walk around your neighborhood today or this evening and see how much you know.  If papers started piling up at a house would you know to check on the elderly woman living there alone?  Do your kids know safe houses to run to in case of an emergency?

The house across the street and the house right next to us are both rentals so we get new neighbors every two to three years. I always make a plate of cookies and my son and I deliver them shortly after they move in. I introduce ourselves and get their names and usually learn a thing or two. It also gives me a good chance to get a first impression of them and see if I feel any warning flags. (None so far, the last two renters across the street have been military and next door is a family with three children, two of whom walk to school with my son.)

Become more active in your neighborhood watch, expand your circle of awareness a few more houses. Maybe even take the next step and get to really know one or two of your nearby neighbors better. Cookies make a great ice breaker!

That’s supposed to be a kitty cat face, in case you can’t tell!

Do Nothing Day

Do I really need to say more? Easter Monday/Dyngus Day  should be a holiday off from work or school. Even if you don’t celebrate Easter there is an excellent chance you succumbed to all the candy in the stores and are now suffering from a sugar coma.  And really what can one be expected to do while in a coma?

I need to end this post now so I can get down to the serious task of celebrating “Do Nothing Day”. I plan to scrounge up some leftover Easter candy (hair of the dog for my candy hangover) and park my butt on the couch and watch “Home Fires” and anything else that catches my fancy on my DVR.  And maybe nap. And brush my teeth an extra time today.  Just because.

In the interest of not getting fired from your job feel free to tweak the holiday into “Do as little as possible day”.  Us holiday maker uppers are flexible.

 

Random flower photo: Almost Cactus bloomin’ time.  This photo is from 4 years ago, taken at the end of April. 

Men and Menopause

I once read a novel by Anne Tyler. In it a man wrote how to books and he wanted to do one to help men deal with their spouse’s menopause. Everyone thought it was a stupid idea.  I think it is a great idea!

I am in the throes of menopause (okay, okay it is actually peri-menopause but you know what I mean!) and it sucks.  And while every woman has a different combination of symptoms and cures the vast majority suffer in one way or another.  And everyone I know agrees, men do not help. They can’t begin to comprehend the frustration and helplessness women feel during this phase of life.  Really it is just like being a teenager again with a lot of weight gain in bad places added in.

So this “made up holiday” is for men to educate themselves about menopause.  Read a website or two. Google “husband doesn’t understand menopause“.  Bring home or make dinner.  Be sure to understand where in the cycle your woman is.  Is this a salad and chocolate cake kind of day?  Burgers and fries?  Grilled fish and steamed veggies?  Make sure you know because you don’t want to screw it up!

She may be ranting and raving about nothing but listen to it.  You may glean a thing or two that  you can do to help her out. Turn the a/c or heat up or down.  Try extra hard not to wake her up, ever.  (Sleep is such a big deal.)  Do some little task that needs to be done and do it her way, just this once. Or maybe just give her some space.

Once the hormones settle down and she is officially in menopause she will remember all the little things you tried to do.  And she will be grateful. Really.

Line Dry Your Laundry Day

Note the rack in the lower left corner.

I have written about this before and I am still a fan of drying laundry outdoors. Here in the desert sun clothes dry faster outdoors than they do in the dryer.

Not only do I like that this is good for the environment but I have to confess I rather enjoy it. Every week I get to channel my Ma Ingalls admiration through laundry. I am doing a task like she would have done it! (But how happy am I to have a washing machine and not have to use a washboard, whew.)

And you don’t even need a clothesline.  For you apartment dwellers get a folding rack. No balcony, no problem.  Just sit the rack in front of a window and let the sun and breeze work it’s magic. (No window?  Then I really feel for you because that is sad.)

And for the record I almost made today “Love Your Lawnmower Day”.  If you really aren’t feeling the laundry then feel free to clean up the lawnmower. Maybe change the oil and the spark plugs.  It’s okay. My feelings won’t be hurt.

Kill a Task Day

My 2001 Saab 9-3 in the Catalina Mountains of Arizona.

I always have a to-do list and typically there are one or two items that get carried over for days or even weeks. Once in awhile I am lucky enough to realize that a task really doesn’t need to be done and I stop writing it down. But that is a rare and wondrous thing.

Eventually I will either be in the mood to accomplish the task (which is great and makes the task easier) or some sort of deadline will loom and the task gets done with some humphing and groaning and probably not done very well but it is done.

And the sense of accomplishment and relief is enormous.  A totally wonderful feeling. So today bite the bullet and finish a long overdue task.  And then celebrate that wonderful feeling, with cake if you so desire.  Because I did promise cake at the beginning of the A to Z Challenge.

I am off to finish my spring cleaning of the interior of my car.  Once a year I do a thorough detailing of my car.  Last week I washed and waxed my beloved 2001 Saab so only the interior is left to do.  I need to vacuum and dust and condition the leather and I will be good to go for another year. It is best to finish this up before it gets too hot.  And then cake!

Chocolate cake with chocolate glaze!  Yum!

Jumping Jellybeans

One night last year I was bowling really bad. I had a choice. I could get very frustrated and miserable or I could laugh it off. I chose laughter which is always a good choice. And every time I missed my spare I would say some sort of clean profanity. The weird stuff we said as kids:

Jumping Joesphat  or as I liked to say Jumping Jellybeans

Sufferin’ Succotash

Thats the cat’s pajamas

Cheese and Crackers

Zowie Batman!

I can’t remember all the crazy things we said but I do remember laughing, a lot.

So I have decreed today to be make up your own clean profanity.  Just for fun.

After a bit of deliberation I have decided my new made up profanity is:  “What the waffle?!”  Because I am a fan of alliteration and waffle is one of my favorite words. I am quite certain it will come in handy tomorrow night at bowling.

Random flower photo here.

 

Don’t Read the Iliad Day

Are you are a person who reads books simply for fun like I do? And do you sometimes feel a little guilty about reading nothing but Cozy Mysteries or Summer Beach reads? Do you feel like at some point you need to read some “real” literature? So you put something like “Moby Dick” or the “Iliad” or “The Sound and the Fury” on your to be read list. And then that book hangs over your head for months or even years.

Good news!  Today is “Don’t Read the Iliad Day”.  Or whatever book is destroying your peaceful reading life.  So cross it off the list.  Enjoy your current best seller or the latest bodice ripper guilt free.  Today you have been released from Real Literature you feel you should be reading.

I have to go now and return “The Sound and the Fury”, unopened, to the library.

I am also returning “American Sniper” unread and gave up on “The Photographer’s Wife” halfway through it. Just not my cup of tea.  But I loved all my other books and am on the last one now, “Your’s Truly”.

 

Heat Day

Not the desert heat which is practically here but the Miami Heat. Or more specifically “Fans Who are Geographically Separated From Their Teams Day”!

Yes, I am a basketball fan exiled far away from my favorite team. I would guess Miami actually has a Miami Heat day but here in Arizona I have to make my own day. I know there are lots of geographically separated fans out there.  People move around.  It is why NBA League Pass and MLB Extra Innings are so popular. I love being  able not only to watch Heat games but listen to the Heat announcers. (Eric Reid and Coach Tony are the best!  They talk about all aspects of the game, good and bad and acknowledge both teams, not just the Heat.)

This is the last week of the regular NBA season.  The playoff run in the Eastern Conference is going down to the wire.  The Heat have fought their way into playoff contention this second half after an abysmal start. I hardly dare hope, but hope I must.  It is what we fans do.

Today is for every fan rooting for a team and is geographically separated from the team(s) they love. (And I am not talking about you fair weather fans who jump on any winning team’s band wagon.)  Wear your team gear proudly.  Make a meal or snack tonight worthy of your arena or stadium or area of the country.  Hopefully you can watch or listen to your team play.  Be proud of your team, win or lose. Celebrate being a fan.

Tonight I’ll be wearing my Heat gear and watching Goran Dragic take on the Cleveland Cavaliers while eating a grilled Cuban sandwichMY team has already beat the reining champs twice this season, reason enough to celebrate for me!

 

Who are you rooting for from a distance right now?

Talk to A Ghost Day

Probably best to do this one in your head. Especially if people are already looking at you oddly for “Flip Your Hair Day“.

Your ghost can be your past or future self, someone dead that you admire or a deceased relative. You can tell them anything you want and I promise they will keep your secret!

Some examples in case you are drawing a blank:

Is the way your spouse chews driving you nuts?  Vent to your late Aunt. You will feel better and no one’s feelings get hurt.

Stuck on a plot point in your novel?  Brainstorm ideas with E.M Forster.

Really irritated that your past self passed up a trip to Italy? Go ahead, yell at her. (And start making plans with your future self to go to Italy!)

I would like to have a chat with Agatha Christie. 1. What really happened during her “lost days”? 2. Did she ever find writing hard?  3. How did she manage to write so much? 4. Does she think she could get away with committing a murder in real life?  5. What was her favorite breakfast?

I am pretty sure her answers (in my head) are: 1. Everyone was driving me nuts so I went to a spa for massages, a facial and a lot of sleep.  2. No.  3. I let the housework go.  4. Yes.  5. Porridge except on Sundays when I like waffles and sausages.

My Agatha Christie collection.

 

Let us know who  you talked to and if  it was a good conversation? (Sometimes ghost can be annoying when all they do is moan and groan!)  Agatha and I really are curious.