I have to admit that yoga, meditation and now walking every evening have turned out to be very healing. I am enjoying exploring Sabino Canyon more fully and last week I finished my walks under the very bright moon which I loved more that I thought I would.
My son has returned to in person school four days a week providing me with some badly needed solitude. And a chance to have the kitchen stay cleaned up for more than 5 seconds.
I think I may have fell in love just a little with Ethan Hawke after watching his short TED talk:
Once again my “word” of the year is proving to be quite beneficial:
Life is so much easier when you live in the moment and not worry or plan so much for the future or keep reflecting on the past.
The only thing I am wishing for right now is cooler temps. We are back to the 90’s and I had to turn the a/c back on. 🥵 Despite the heat I am enjoying crock-pot meals, pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes and watching football.
I am not liking all this new WordPress crap. Some of my photos won’t upload “for security reasons”. Does someone think I have some sort of code embedded in my Trader Joe’s haunted house? And now there are blogs that I cannot comment or like anymore. (Sorry L.A.!) I admit to being a little weary of trying to keep up with technology. 🙁
I finally figured out what makes me feel better. Walking. Outside. With no destination and no time limit (except darkness).
I have begun taking an evening sabbatical. I leave the house between 4:00p and 4:30p once the sun has retreated enough to be bearable. I go over to Sabino Canyon and walk. It is not too crowded at that time and I have plenty of solitude. Sometimes I find a quiet spot to sit for awhile. Yesterday I sat near the oh so dry creek bed and listened to the wind in the cottonwood trees. The rustling of the leaves was incredibly soothing.
This has become by far my favorite part of the day. The only negative is it gets dark in a hurry here, full dark at 6:00p right now. I try to be out of the park by 5:45p because I don’t want to get eaten by a mountain lion (even though that would be an unique way to go!) and there are not any street lights anywhere.
Last night I dawdled watching an amazing sunset and found the end of my journey to be in total darkness. I did not encounter any mountain lions but there were two rather fierce looking bunnies in my path. I tried to make myself look big and scary and they scampered off, ha!
Once back in my own ‘hood I had to pause for some javelinas in the wash across the street from me. I think it will be a good idea to carry a flashlight in my pocket tonight, cause I am sure that would keep a mountain lion away 🙄.
This week has sucked. Not because of COVID-19 but because of the full moon. My hot flashes have been ferocious and the insomnia insane. As usual my first thought is that this will be the last month of suffering. The hot flashes are doing one last push and then my body will succumb gracefully into aging. This is an insane thought and at 1:00a I am googling away re-learning that it is highly likely that I will have to deal with hot flashes for nine to ten years total which means perhaps six more years. I can’t bear the thought.
I find myself wondering why my hot flashes seem worse right now. The weather hasn’t turned abysmally hot yet. And then it hits me, stress. While on the surface I don’t think I am freaking out over our current pandemic there are thready undercurrents flowing beneath.
Mostly I am unhappy because so much is unknown. I can’t visualize the future. The lack of control has me stressed. Problem identified. Now what to do about it?
I come up with two plans. I still have almost 90 days worth of a low-dose anti-depressant shown to help some women with hot flashes. I only took it a few days because it made me very nauseous. I decide to try again, this time eating a few crackers when I take it and going a whole week (at least) to see if my body adapts.
And the second plan? Our stores are pretty well stocked. I have enough allergy meds and such that I am not worried about running out. The only item I am worried about is toilet paper. Back in mid-March I bought our usual 12 pack right before the insanity started. Before I knew anything was really going on, just my normal purchase. And when the toilet paper disappeared from shelves I wasn’t worried. I thought that by the time I needed to buy more the world would be back to normal.
But it is almost a month later and I haven’t seen a roll of toilet paper on the shelves in the last three weeks. Now, I am not the type of person who wants to start going from store to store on a tp hunt. My observation is if you find toilet paper (or paper towels etc) it is pure luck. You just happen to be in the store when they bring out a batch. I find myself wondering if I am willing to chance it and simply wait and hope the stores are re-supplied by the time we are down to our last roll or two.
It seems risky. I mean the shelves are empty all across the country. We have no idea if or when a total lockdown may start. What if my spouse brings the virus home from work and we have to self-quarantine for two weeks? I can picture life without toilet paper and it isn’t pretty. Is there anything I can do about this? Maybe.
I read an article on-line about the toilet paper shortage and they recommend checking restaurant supply stores. Hmmm. Makes sense. Restaurants are probably buying less toilet paper with no inside dining. So I go on-line to a place in Tennessee. It says toilet paper is in-stock. I can buy a case of 96 rolls. I try and visualize 96 rolls of toilet paper and my imagination fails me. Where would we store it all?
Most of me says just buy it before it disappears but a small section of my mind says let’s just think about this for a minute. And I do. And 96 rolls wins out over zero rolls easily. I can share, I can donate, I can store it in the empty suitcases in the garage. (It’s not like we are going anywhere this summer!) I place the order, and then I wait.
I get the confirmation e-mail but 24 hours later I still don’t have a processing or shipping e-mail. Uh-oh. I check the website, standard toilet paper is no longer in-stock. Was I too late?
I tell myself to be patient and give it a few days, they were probably inundated with orders. And so I wait.
April 13, 2020
First the good news. I am able to take the anti-depressant with a few crackers and it seems to be working. My hot flashes are fewer and much, much less intense. But this being the post full moon period of the month the hot flashes are usually on the wane anyway. The real test will be the first week of May right before the full moon. But at least I have hope.
As for the toilet paper? I never did receive another e-mail as to status but I did figure out how to check the order status on-line through their website. The first time I checked it said it was on back order until 5/31. I decide I can live with this. I really want a stash for later in the year when/if a second wave hits. At the end of the week I check the status again and now it says nothing. I contact the company to make sure they didn’t cancel the order. They haven’t but now they are thinking 8 to 10 weeks before they get re-supplied. I am going to remain optimistic on the toilet paper front. What else can I do?
For now I am sticking to my normal routine as much as possible. I do my yoga, shower, meditate. I fast between 4:00p and 10:00a most days, or at least close to that window. I try and keep busy but I also try and cut myself some slack. I have promised myself that if I get to a point where I really don’t want to do anything I can have 24 hours off. The most important thing for me to remember is to just take things one day at a time.
We are at the end of our second full week of being home. If I had to pick one word I would pick miserable. How can staying home make one so unhappy? Part of the problem is the time of the month, or more accurately the phase of the moon. In another week the moon will be on the wane and my coping skills returning. But in the meantime…
Home schooling is a nightmare. Screen time has been a battle for years and now to have to deal with my son being on the computer ALL DAY? Just shoot me now. The first day I set him up at the dining room table. He strategically chose a seat where I couldn’t easily see the screen. He put his headphones on. I assumed he was goofing off some but at the end of the week when I checked google classroom he had done nothing except History. And you know why he did History? Because one day I sat at the table with him to finish our taxes so he knew he needed to do real work. Apparently he spent most of the week researching a new gaming mouse and mousepad and watching youtube videos (and not the one’s from his math teacher).
So for week two I had him sitting in a different chair, banished the headphones and we went over google classroom before and after school each day. I sat at the table with him for at least part of each day and made sure I frequently checked his screen. I hated it. He hated it. I just want him to be responsible, show some integrity and give a shit about his own future. He’s only 12 so I am not sure if I am allowed to just let him fail or do I have to wait until he is older and has a better grasp of the consequences?
I am taking an on-line class on the science of well-being taught at Yale. (Auditing so it is free.) My son and I both took a test showing us our 24 strengths, from greatest to weakest. My number one: honesty. His number twenty-four: honesty. I think I see the problem. What I don’t see is how week three is going to unfold. Moving on…
I watched Collection 6 of The Great British Baking Show on Netflix. Not my favorite, too many weird challenges and way too much crying. And what was up with all the handshakes? Once Dave and Jon left I found myself wondering why I was still watching.
Frustrated with my lack of Census work. I was supposed to be done mid-April. I am afraid that by the time we resume it will be screaming hot. Please, just go on-line and do the darn thing!
Why am I the only person in the house who can refill the water pitcher?
Every day I get up around the same time, do my yoga, shower and get dressed. I have a small whiteboard where I list my tasks for the day. On Friday (today) I walked down to the ATM to get money and then ducked in the grocery store for some fresh produce. A little over two miles roundtrip. I came home and paid bills and mopped the kitchen floor. At 3:00p I found myself wondering if I could go back to bed. Well of course I could, but should I? It was tempting. But I have decided to try and hold out until dark (say 7:00p). I’ll finish this post, work on a needlepoint project or color. Watch something maybe.
Flowers are just starting to bloom around here. The other day I started seeing spots of color in the beige desert landscape so yesterday I took a walk with camera in hand. I found all these along the side of a busy road (though a little less busy these days).
This post is for all those stuck inside or stuck in winter. I hope you enjoy.
I have no idea of plant names so I will call them by color!
So I had this great idea to go over to Sabino Canyon on the first day of spring and look for flowers in bloom. When I woke up it was raining. So I thought, I’ll just go this afternoon. And then afternoon came and what I really wanted to do was sit on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie.
But I did take some pictures around my backyard earlier in the day when the weather was still looking iffy. And there is a very good chance I’ll have time in the next week to go on the hunt in the wild for spring blooms.
I feel like I haven’t written a real blog post in forever! What has been going on? Well, my son’s First Lego League team went to the State tournament so as the Parent- Mentor I was busy getting them ready. For the first time they won an award, “Most Innovative Solution”. My son has been in the league three years and has gone to the state level every year but this was the first time they won an award at either the regional or state level, so kind of a big deal.
Then I got sick, of course, after spending so much time around germ carrying kids. So no photo Fridays as I haven’t felt much like hiking.
We got the exterior of the house painted and had gutters and rain barrels installed. No, I didn’t have to do the work myself but I had to make decisions and pick colors and write checks and deal with the workers.
Then my son had bowling and he entered the city tournament which means he had to bowl three games on Saturday in the team event and six games on Sunday for singles and doubles. He bowled decent but probably not good enough to advance to the next level. After bowling each day we went out to eat and ran some errands.
And then there was my own bowling drama. I agreed to be the Vice-President because they usually don’t have to do anything. Ha! The President ended up hurting her leg and having surgery and while she was out we had a league member quit without notice and behind in her fees so guess who had to deal with that? Yeah, fun stuff.
On the positive side I have been hard at work on the A to Z challenge in April. I have all my posts written and am now finding photos and setting up the posts in WordPress.
I also surprised myself by finishing digitally organizing all my photos from 2019. One evening while watching the Heat game (basketball for those unfamiliar) I decided to do a month or two and poof, I finished.
Next week we are going camping over rodeo break. Rodeo break is a local thing and we love having a few days off to get out of town even though we could care less about a rodeo, you know because we are city slickers (currently living in a city, a large city at that, so yeah we think rodeo break is weird). But hello Pacific Ocean!
So I suppose I haven’t written much because I have been too busy living my life. Yeah for me!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Now I am off to bake a chocolate oatmeal cake. (Oatmeal because then I can eat the leftovers for breakfast without any guilt 🙂 ).
Boxing Day is the 26th of December but not really a holiday here in the U.S. More of a Canada and England thing but I like to celebrate it anyway. We eat something British-y and have Christmas Crackers and pretend it really is a holiday.
This year we had a very yummy shepherd’s pie which I put together in the morning so I could take a nice hike in the late afternoon. Yes, more Sabino Canyon photos but I explored some places I hadn’t been to in awhile and looked for interesting angles.
You may have heard about a movement to change Black Friday to Green Friday. To change the focus from consumerism to getting out in nature. Here in the desert southwest it was more of a Gray Friday. Rain, wind and dropping temperatures made me want to stay indoors. I boiled up the turkey frame re-filling the house with that Thanksgiving turkey smell. After I got three containers of soup base into the freezer I noticed the weather was clearing up so after lunch my son and I went to Sabino Canyon and fulfilled our Green Friday hiking goal.
After more rain early Saturday morning the sun was shining again by the afternoon. We went to the Reid Park Arts and Crafts festival for a little Christmas shopping. After we were done we took time to stop and smell the roses. They were a bit battered but still fragrant and beautiful.
Keep your focus!
*Top photo is an orange on my tree, close to being ripe. Maybe we’ll have fresh orange juice for Christmas morning!